White Ribbon Day 25 November

White Ribbon Day, 25 November, is the international day when men wear a white ribbon to show that they do not condone violence towards women. It was started by a men’s movement in Canada in 1991 and has been officially adopted by the United Nations as its International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. The campaign was introduced to New Zealand by UNIFEM (the United Nations Development Fund for Women).

Back in 2006, I was working with the family violence network in Tauranga on a project for White Ribbon Day. The campaign involved getting groups of men from different walks of life to pose for photos 'badged-up' with white ribbons. We succeeded in getting 24 groups - from construction workers and sports teams, to lawyers and Lions Clubs. The Mayor and a number of Councillors also fronted for the project. The pictures were assembled as posters and were printed in the local newspapers.

One man who agreed to arrange some pictures was Jack Paki. He assembled his trucking crew from B R and S L Porters, and the Mariners basketball team that he coached. A little while later, Jack called to say that he and his brothers were planning to do a ride on Harleys from Cape Reinga to the Bluff in support of a charity, and we discussed how that could work for family violence. The end result was Jack and his brothers created "Super Maori Fullas", and in the summer of 2009 they did the ride, with the support of the Family Violence Taskforce; accompanied by the Patriots Motorcycle Club (comprising past and present members of NZ Armed Forces); and joining up with local family violence networks for events and media opportunities along the way.

I believe that this initiative is a break-through in men's responses to family violence. It has taken the discourse out of the traditional social services arena, and brought it into the domain of men, in an inescapably masculine activity.

Jack and the boys (and some women too) are doing another ride this November, in conjunction with the White Ribbon campaign - taking four separate routes from Wellington to Whangarei (nga hau e wha - the four winds). You can find out more about the ride on: http://whiteribbon.org.nz/

Locally, the TMAPS (Tauranga Moana Family Violence Network) is running an event on 25 November at the Fraser Cove Shopping Centre car park, and inviting teams of men to pit their strength on the tug-of-war machine. There will be other fun activities for the whole family to enjoy. For more information email: tmaps.nz@gmail.com

And here's another stellar example of a male response: Warriors and NZ League legend Ruben Wiki is a passionate supporter of efforts to end family violence and has joined the White Ribbon campaign to become its first national Ambassador.

As a husband, and father of two, Ruben says he is always aware that he is a role model for his children.

“What men say and do and how we behave around our children and partners has lasting effects.
I grew up in a house where my mother was beaten by her partner (not my father) and I know how scary that can be. I want to do what I can to help make sure this doesn’t happen to other mothers and children.”

So my message is: find out more about what you can do to support White Ribbon Day in your community. And to the men, let's badge-up and own our responsibilities to stop violence towards women. if you are in Tauranga, get a team together for the tug-of-war on 25 November.